I know right? Hit you with this? I had just separated from my children’s father, when a church brochure came in the mail. The Bible verse was Mathew 6:14. There are many versions of Bible interpretations, but the gist of it is this, “For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will forgive you.” I stared at it for minutes… I thought, ” Why am I getting this reminder now, and how will I ever be able to forgive? How?” I knew, however, that I have my own sin; I have had to ask for forgiveness and when you are in that position you hope you are forgiven. Selfishly I knew I had to try, for my own sake, so that I could be forgiven.
If you are familiar with Budha at all, there is a story where Budha asks, “What’s next.” It is a story about forgiveness, so I am asking you, “What’s next?”
Here’s what I want you to know: forgiveness isn’t for the abuser, it’s for the survivor. Forgiveness takes a piece of dark energy away from you; it helps you.
My forgiveness has been a process, for years it was something I thought about. No, I didn’t just jump on the forgiveness bandwagon, I didn’t think I could and even today I feel like I have, but there are days when I fall back. The reason I’m bringing it up now, at the beginning of our blog relationship, is so you have time to think about it, to let your soul speak to you, but you hopefully understand that this is your journey. Yours…..
This is the post excerpt.
Most of my life I have wondered why I was molested as a child. As I have grown older, there is an acceptance that I will never know or understand, but I do know and understand this: I have survived and I can support you in your growth and survival as well. I want you to know that if you have been sexually assaulted in any way, by anyone, and if you are a survivor, you have found a home on this page. If you are male, female, African American, Native American, Norwegian, gay, straight, Catholic or Muslim and have been sexually assaulted, you have found a home on this page. Welcome fellow Survivor!!
It’s important for you to know that I’m not a victim. I don’t have a big chip on my shoulder and I do my darndest to make sure I don’t treat anyone else as a victim or victimize others by bullying, judging etc. I will not become my abuser. I will not…. This blog is not for judgement. I think those things are left to a higher power, who I call God. I understand that your higher power may have another name, or maybe your life experiences have led you to believe you don’t have a named higher power; it’s ok for us to be different, to embrace our differences! You have a home on this site.
I’m not perfect; I will make writing errors, I will have opinions different than yours, and I may say something inadvertently that is hurtful. Always come back to this statement, “I only want to support the survivor in you.” Anyone not supporting each other as a survivor will not be allowed on the site. The plan is to provide research and insight into ways to grow stronger!