There is a book I would like to recommend to you. The title is “The Courage to Heal.” There is a workbook as well, but I read the book and feel like it was very beneficial. One of the methods they suggested was writing about your abuse. It’s a tough challenge and one you have to kind of prepare yourself for. I don’t know if you are like me, but I tend to let things roll around in my head, tormenting me until I can be rid of them one way or another. I use meditation and prayer to help, also talking about things helps, although it took me a long time to be willing to do that. 🙂
I remember, distinctly remember, the night I wrote in my navy blue journal, with the pink and white flowers. The children were with their Dad, and that night was the night I had set aside. It was about 10:00, when I finally sat down in the orange rocking chair, that I had nursed all three children in, my safe chair. I opened the journal and begin to write. The tears ran down my cheeks so freely, I couldn’t have stopped them as they dripped on the pages. Words smeared as I wrote. I tear up now remembering. I wrote about four pages, closed the book and sighed. I was better. It sounds bizarre and simplistic, but I was better. It was my beginning.
Catharsis (according to Wikipedia): “is the purification and purgation of emotions-especially pity and fear-through art or any extreme change in emotion that results in renewal and restoration.
Through out the years I have used and suggested similar exercises. I taught a middle school writing course and one of our activities was a type of catharsis. We wrote down things we had done wrong, or things that were done to us, and burned them in a coffee can, behind the school. No one, not even me!, knew what was written. We stood around the can and watched the paper turn to ash, poured water on it, and went inside and celebrated with S’mores made in the microwave.
I had a very good friend who witnessed the end result of his mother’s death. He was plagued with the memory and pictures he couldn’t get out of his head. I suggested catharsis to him. He told me a couple of years later, that he had found the pictures he had drawn in the back of his closet. He seemed to think it helped.
I have my journal; it’s in a box, in a closet. If for some reason, I need to recount something, I could find it and read it, but if that never happens I am allowed to let it fade into something that doesn’t haunt me as much and I move forward in the renewal and restoration of my soul. 🙂