When you get to a certain age, if your are lucky, you have had many friends and learned many things about being a friend and what you expect from friendship. You have watched friends walk into your life and watched them walk out. You understand that as our lives change, our needs change, and our expectations of all relationships may change, including friendships.
When I was writing about depression, I touched on friendship and it got my mind to whirling, remembering some of the stand out times. When I went through my second divorce, I felt uneasy in my home for a while. One friend offered me a safe haven if I ever needed it, in the middle of the night; another couple offered me their lake cabin, which I took advantage of. None of these folks had ever needed a similar safety net, that I’m aware of, but they offered up their homes willingly to me. I’m very grateful to both of them. They trusted me and believed me, two incredibly powerful facets of friendship. I have a friend in Denver, that if I showed up on her doorstep, would invite me in, offer me a room and make some of the best hot chocolate/brandy drinks that not only warm the stomach, but do something nice to the soul. A girl friend came to my divorce proceedings so I wouldn’t have to be alone, and I have a couple more who are great listeners, but aren’t afraid to challenge me as well.
I have lost friends, who in hindsight weren’t friends, I fit a purpose for them at the time and maybe it is true that they fit my purpose as well. I still feel a sense of loss from their leaving, whether it’s from the loss of time spent, or sadness that we can believe so strongly, at the time, that something was so good, only to see later that it wasn’t. Divorces are similar.
It’s hard to find any one who will love you for who you are, but first it’s important for you to know who you are.. That can take a long time, so it’s only natural that friendships change until then, but if you are lucky to pick up a few really good ones, who love you through your changes, who accept you through those changes, then hang on to them tight. They are the angels who will lift you to your feet..
To my wonderful friends; I hope you always fly!